I am quitting treats in 2018

I am addicted to sugar. And I don’t want to be. 

I have had 3 babies in the last 5 years, and have gained 35–45 pounds each pregnancy. It has been really hard for me to lose the weight each time, and I am getting more and more frustrated as time goes on that I don’t feel good in my own body. I plan to get pregnant in 2018, and I know that a dramatic change in my diet must happen, or my weight will balloon back up again. When I get pregnant I feel sick, I have no energy, and ALL I WANT IS SUGAR. And thus, ALL I eat is sugar. Treat yo’ self — right?? Not anymore! I want to avoid that at all costs. Even if it means cutting desserts from my life for the entire year. I have literally been thinking about this and weighing my options for months, and I have made my decision. To reach my health goals (ie: have a healthy pregnancy, and easily lose weight after the pregnancy), it is time to step it up and do something hard. I am committed. I’m going to do it. No matter what. 

I will cut desserts from my diet for all of 2018. I am defining this as anything that has more than 3g of added sugar — to put that into perspective, a cup of plain Rice Chex has 3g of sugar, and 2 tablespoons of Jif peanut butter has 3g of sugar. I will be ditching anything that is sweeter than that. No chocolate, cake, cookies, ice cream, jam, flavored yogurt, sugar cereal, granola bars , sauces— the list could go on and on and on. I will allow some honey (I’m thinking homemade wheat bread), unless it adds more than 3g of sugar to the food. I will allow dairy, since the sugar in dairy is lactose, not fructose (the bad guy).

I have read and studied and watched documentaries about the terrible effects of sugar. Logically, I know I shouldn’t eat it. It is poison. It is an addictive substance. It harms our bodies in every way. 

I am scared that I will fail. I am scared that the withdrawal process will be hard. I am scared that people will judge me or be offended that I am quitting desserts. I am afraid I’ll lose friends. I don’t want to be the weird person that doesn’t eat treats. I’m worried about explaining myself to people. I am afraid of feeling deprived and tired. I’m worried about birthdays. I still have no idea how to handle birthdays. I am mostly afraid that I’ll still gain 35–45 pounds while I’m pregnant, even cutting out desserts.

But I’m doing it anyway. 

I love to bake. How do I show my love for my friends and family without baking? My plan is to bake bread. Clean recipes with no (or limited) added sugar. I would love to learn to bake different kinds of bread — naan, pitas, pizza crust, etc. 

I am doing this for myself. I want to prove to myself that I can do hard things to take care of my body, and in effect my next baby. I want to feel better. I want to have more *real* energy, not processed sugar energy. I want to lose fat and gain muscle. I want to have a DESIRE to eat healthy, delicious foods for the rest of my life! 

I am hoping that at the end of 2018 I will be changed. A paradigm shift will have occurred. I will choose healthy foods without a thought. I will weigh less. I will feel great about my body and my choices. I will be able to eat a dessert on special occasions and not feel like I need it every day, and especially not after every meal. The desire to use sugar as an energy booster or emotion hider will be gone. 

This is an experiment in self-control, self-discipline, self-mastery — whatever you want to call it, I need it back in my life. I want to have more positive self-talk, feel in control, have more self-discipline, and be an example to my children of healthy eating. I know my health is important, and I am making it a priority and a focus in 2018.